Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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