Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
