No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize