At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
