1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
