You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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