Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
