My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
