I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
