Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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