Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
