They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
