3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
