How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
