So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
