I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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