I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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