I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
