You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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