i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
