He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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