what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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