I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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