what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
