apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
