Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you would pick up someone in the library
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am one with the molecules
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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