should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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