My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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