i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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