she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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