I didn't shave. On purpose
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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