I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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