Me too!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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