if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
