Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
