I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
