i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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