I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
