Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
