So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
