I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
