Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
