Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
