Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just want nice things and good sex
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
