It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
