i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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