I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
