Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
