Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
