I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
