It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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