I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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