I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
