Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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