Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
