Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
