This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
