You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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